Written by: Allison Toth

Compared to a lot of my raver friends, I actually joined the scene pretty late in the game. I had been listening to Skrillex since middle school, but I had no idea that there were entire weekends dedicated to the kind of music I’d blast in my headphones during first period. I remember feeling like I’d discovered electricity when I found out about festivals. Something lit up inside me.

“What!? They play music ALL weekend long? What else happens? What do people wear? Where do I find one?” I recall flooding my friend Micah with my mountain of questions. I was curious, and I needed to experience it for myself.

Micah invited me to my first-ever festival—a small, local fest in Missouri called “Rekinnection.” LSDream was headlining, as well as doing a Lightcode set during the day. The best way to describe his Lightcode sets… think group meditation, but with music instead of speaking. It was one of the most memorable moments of my life—laying there on a pile of blankets, snuggled up with my new rave fam while the different sounds covered us. I felt a wave of emotion wash over me as I had a realization:

I was born to be at festivals. This was my sanctuary.

My first few shows and fests were impactful. Beautiful, fun, slightly overwhelming, but above all—they were teachers. I thought I knew it all when I showed up to my first festival, Hangout Fest. After an extreme sunburn (wrong sunscreen) and insane blisters (wrong shoes), I learned that maybe there was a bit more to learn. Here are a few things I wish I’d known when I started raving.

#1. It’s a marathon, not a sprint

I love to dance. If you’ve seen or met me on the dance floor, this is likely the first thing you noticed. I hear a drop or sound that I like, and I’m physically unable to keep myself from letting the music course through my veins (manifesting in the form of me dancing like a complete lunatic).

Something I learned during my first multi-day festival was to find balance. I knew I wanted to groove all day long, but I also noticed that I was wearing myself out early in the day, leading to me enjoying those late-night sets less. Find a way to create balance so you can last longer and feel stronger.

I used to feel so self-conscious about needing a minute to sit down or put my feet up in a hammock. I felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking, “Look at that loser just sitting around!”—kind of like that fear we get sometimes that people are watching us dance (they really aren’t). Eventually, I realized that fear of missing out was actually keeping me from enjoying myself fully.

You won’t miss out by resting before/during/after a set. You’ll just last longer.

#2. People WANT to connect—don’t be afraid to make the first move

I will always remember the first time someone ran up to me at a festival and made me feel immediately at home. You may know her—Jasmine (link her Instagram here, @hereecomesjasmin)—a human exclamation point and the living, breathing representation of PLUR.

She was spinning silk poi, and I was watching in total awe. As she twirled around, I realized I’d never seen someone who so closely resembled a fairy. She eventually noticed me watching and ran over without a hint of hesitation. She introduced herself, gave me a kandi (one of my first), then handed me the poi and encouraged me to try them out.

I held them cluelessly for a second before beginning to move them around to the music. So suddenly, there I was, swinging around these gorgeous silks while Hayley Williams sang the chorus of “Misery Business” on a beach filled with ravers and love. All because a girl saw me admiring her flow and thought to share the moment with me.

A core memory that I will always cherish was created when someone decided to approach me first. To include me. After that experience, I became dedicated to being that person for other people.

I started to look for people who seemed nervous or alone and approached them with a smile and handful of trinkets. I bought a flow star, and before I was even good enough to teach people tricks, I was handing it to anyone who looked curious so they could play with it.

I realized that things were so different in the festival world than the rest of it. It was like primary school: trading trinkets, dancing together, and the simple question that we don’t ask enough as adults—“What’s your name?”

#3. Food is fuel

We’ve all heard it: “Surviving all weekend off beatboxes and a single chicken tendy 😜.” Even though we laugh as we say it, there are tons of people who actually take this approach at fests. And believe me—I get it.

It isn’t lost on me how difficult it is to eat when it’s hot, you’re moving all day, and excitement is running through every inch of your body. I probably consumed a total of 600 calories during my first fest (Hangout) because it was so hot on the beach and food just didn’t feel like a priority. My body paid the price, and by the last night, I could barely get off the towel we’d laid down to watch the sunset.

It may not be glamorous (or even desirable) to pause the fun to sit down and fuel up, but it makes a WORLD of difference. Even taking 15 minutes to sit down with a protein bowl, salad, Island Noodles—or yes, even a full order of chicken tenders—can make all the difference.

Packing snacks has been my hack because it allows me to get something in my body without even having to leave the dance floor. Granola bars, nuts, jerky, and trail mix are easy to toss in your fanny pack and can provide that little boost without requiring you to give up that spot on the rail you waited all afternoon for.

#4. Don’t write off a genre after only experiencing it a few times

Hiiiiii, yup, unfortunately it’s me! At least, it was me. I will be the first to own up to this. When I first started raving, I would roll my eyes the moment a house artist came out. I’d plead with my friends for a merch run or to grab food until the next dubstep artist came on.

It didn’t matter that I was a baby raver and had a dozen friends telling me to just give it a chance—I had made up my mind: house music wasn’t for me, and I was so totally better than everyone in the world. (Okay, it wasn’t that extreme, but I was truly on a high horse about this.)

And then, as always, I was completely and utterly humbled.

During a Tchami set, I leaned over to my friend. “This is amazing!” She laughed but didn’t say anything. Later that month I saw Lane 8 with the same friend. When I began gushing about how enthralled I was by the set, she called me out.

“I thought all house music was lame and boring, Allison,” she asked with pursed lips and raised eyebrows.

I sank into myself. Sure enough. As many baby ravers do, I was speaking from a lack of experience. When I put dubstep on a pedestal, I unknowingly put myself into a box—closing off from so many amazing artists and sets.

Now you can regularly find me at Mississippi Underground, our up-and-coming warehouse venue here in Saint Louis, during house music nights just as often as dubstep. I might always be a riddim girl at heart, but I realized there was space in my heart for all kinds of music. And I realized it was silly to ever think I could write off an entire genre before being in the scene long enough to fully comprehend the difference between styles.

#5. Try not to stress the small things

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but I have to: shit is going to go sideways sometimes. It’s the name of the game. Festivals are no different than the rest of life in this regard. You can plan, plan, plan—but ultimately the universe (and sometimes Mother Nature) gets the final say.

My first major camping festival was supposed to be Bonnaroo this year. Yeaaaah. I know. (Read more about the experience here).

After about 20 minutes of mental suffering after learning that the fest was being cancelled, I realized something. Sitting in the disappointment wasn’t going to un-flood the festival grounds or bring back the Levity sets I’d been waiting months for. So I focused on what I could control—finding fun instead of waiting for it.

Weather isn’t the only factor either. Sometimes the group you thought you’d love camping with runs into frustrations about setup or the missing 6-pack (you totally drank it, but now it feels too late to just own it). Sometimes the clasp on your bodysuit will snap, and other times a human tree will stand in front of you during your favorite artist’s set.

Things won’t be perfect, but the beauty of festivals is that you get to create magic anyway.

Dancing in the nonstop rain at Cosmic Kinection with my boyfriend, Jackson, and our friends—Jack and Morgan—was one of my favorite parts of the weekend. We were muddy and exhausted afterward, but we were so happy.

Sometimes the universe knows what she’s doing.